The Last Fabber: A Story of Survival (Chapter 2 is here!)

Discussion in 'Planetary Annihilation General Discussion' started by fredegar1, October 17, 2014.

  1. fredegar1

    fredegar1 Member

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    Thanks a lot!
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  2. DeathByDenim

    DeathByDenim Post Master General

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    Nice work! That was quite enjoyable.

    Incredibly tiny nitpick though: You wrote: "along with air support to search for any surviving enemies.", but in chapter one, you had:
    So, why would Synchronous bother with sending air units to look for survivors? It's seems like something that ought to be impossible if the commander is destroyed, right?

    Sorry about that. I just happened to notice and you did ask for constructive feedback, so... :)
  3. steambirds

    steambirds Member

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    Well, if a single unit survived, who knows how many untold other units did?
  4. DeathByDenim

    DeathByDenim Post Master General

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    Yes, but it's something that is supposed to be impossible, right? And Synchronous doesn't know a single unit survived, so it doesn't have a reason to believe it can be even possible there is even just one survivor, right? Unless it's a closely guarded secret by the Commanders, but then they probably wouldn't want to tell their air scouts to look for survivors, right?
  5. davostheblack

    davostheblack Well-Known Member

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    This is awsome; please continue your Saga
  6. cdrkf

    cdrkf Post Master General

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    Maybe they're not actively looking, simply patroling to ensure no new threats turn up?
  7. DeathByDenim

    DeathByDenim Post Master General

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    Yeah, that'll work. So change "But they would have a heavy combat escort as well, along with air support to search for any surviving enemies." to "But they would have a heavy combat escort as well, along with air support to make sure no new threats turn up.", you mean?
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  8. DeathByDenim

    DeathByDenim Post Master General

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    So..., @fredegar1, it's been a week now! Where's chapter 3? ;)
    fredegar1 likes this.
  9. fredegar1

    fredegar1 Member

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    Coming soon, I should be able to 2 more chapters in before I get down to 'real' writing for NaNoWriMo.
    destravous and DeathByDenim like this.
  10. Endurrr

    Endurrr Active Member

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    bby pls
  11. SolitaryCheese

    SolitaryCheese Post Master General

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    [​IMG]
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  12. stealthpiloter

    stealthpiloter New Member

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    Waiting for Chapter three to come out, checks date of last post, stops bothering...

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