Nice guys do finish last. Well, kinda. /rant

*sh!ts on Yuno*

Get at me, broski.

Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

I already have a *****. I don't need another one."

-My ex girlfriend, talking about why she doesn't like nice guys


So let's talk about evolutionary psychology for a second. If you're extremely religious, open your mind for a second because this is fact. Men and women are biologically attracted to to that which fulfills their basic instincts that every living creature, ranging from a tree to a human being, inherits. Those basic instincts are survival and replication.

Men are primarily attracted to women for their looks because looks = health. The reason why you want to bang a hot chick is because your primal instincts see her as genetically healthy, therefore more likely to produce healthy babies. Our primary personality trait we tend to look for is nurturing - which also makes sense. We want somebody who can nurture our babies and raise them to be strong.

Women need much more than just health. At one point in time, say back when we were nomadic and lived in either caves or traveled with tribes, women needed somebody who could protect and provide. They also did want healthy babies, but being in good health was worthless if the man couldn't hunt (provide) and fight off potential predators or other hostile animals (protect).

This translates in modern society to a handful of basic traits that attract females based on evolutionary psychology (this is in no particular order)

1. Health - They still are attracted to looks. Healthy you means healthy babies, more likely that their genes will survive, etc.

2. Wealth - or potential to obtain wealth. This goes under the provide category. Even though in our society now, women have plenty of opportunities to make money themselves, their biological programming is to be attracted to men who either have resources or have the potential to obtain resources.

3. Social Status - Evolving as pack animals/tribe animals, women understand that men with high social status or social intuition have the ability to provide, and have allies that will help protect.

4. Confidence - This is essentially the shortcut girls use to determine if the other ones are likely there. A confident man is more likely to be in good heatlh, more likely to have money/gain assets, and more likely to have strong social status. Don't confuse confidence with arrogance. Confidence is not expressing how confident you are; it's expressing confidence in everything you say and do.

5. Sense of Humor - I can't explain this one from a biological point of view because nobody truly understands the purpose of humor. Humans and dolphins are the only living creatures that do it (and like 1 or 2 species of monkeys). But I can tell you this - making a girl laugh is the quickest way into her pants (legally, at least).


So let's talk about Nice Guy vs. Mean Guy, and how it relates to this.

Mean Guy is confident. Mean guy usually has bullied his way to the front. He is assertive, which is a key trait in obtaining wealth.

Nice guy is generally insecure and NOT assertive. He's doing what thousands of other guys have done to her before - telling her she's beautiful and buying her gifts. It's not original, not exciting, and not challenging (challenging could almost be #6, btw).

Of course, these are just the stereotypes. In reality, girls pick the mean guy not because he's mean, but because he's strong. It's not nice guy vs. mean guy, it's strong guy vs. weak guy.

Let me break it down for you, how to make yourself the perfect guy for any woman.

Guy A - The relationship guy
*Forms an emotional connection
*Takes her out on nice dates
*She trusts him
*He thinks about her sometimes when he's not around
*Respects her sexuality and does not push things in the bedroom
*Think of things that fall into this category

Guy B - The **** buddy guy
*Dominant, understands how to throw her around in bed and pull some hair
*Makes the decisions when they go out somewhere
*Alpha male within his social groups
*Stands up for himself
*Is not ashamed/afraid of his sex drive and goes for it

Now which guy does the girl want? Guy A fulfills her emotional desires, but she is not sexually attracted to him. Guy B makes her tingle down in her panties, but does not fulfill her emotional desires. The solution? Be Guy C. Understand how to utilize all of these qualities, and how to display both at the same time. Otherwise, you'll either be Guy A, who will get the occasional girlfriend, but inevitably get cheated on or dumped for a Guy B. Or you can be a Guy B, who will get some *** as a youngster, but then never find an meaningful relationship.



WOOOOO long post. Also, I lol'd at Turntables post.

Wealth.

^

"Will you marry me?"

"How much money do you have?"

LMAO.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

A random website told me this :"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress."

Being positive and laughing as much as possible is good for your mental health. And the more positive you are, the more people will want to be around you, which means that you will in turn get more wimmins.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

Haha, no. What kind of women are you surrounding yourself with? If this were true, I would've been laid ten times over.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

This IS true. Sense of Humor could be the number 1 attractor. If you got jokes, you got girls, seriously.

^^^

You fail to display the other 4 characteristics, that's why.

Some awkward guy who is funny isn't the same as a confident guy that displays a sense of humor.

Think of it this way: Are they laughing with you, or at you?


I realize this is an assumption and there is no way for me to know your situation, but here's my take:

You are "best friends" with a bunch of girls. You make them laugh a lot, but you are/have been waaaaay too afraid to make a move on any of them, putting you in the "friend zone". Instead of making a move at any point, you may have "confessed your feelings" about them, which is pretty much an instant, permanent cockblock.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

Iunno why I'm making a big deal out of it since I've sworn off women. But this whole 'humor gets ladies' is a crock.

I don't care if they're laughing with or at me. If I did, I wouldn't talk to people to begin with. And I don't really have a bunch of female buddies. Those I do are already spoken for so making a move is a stupid idea. This is my own kind of assurance that I'll never fall for them.

And confessing feelings? Heh, sure if I was still in high school.

oops, thought I hit edit. Oh well

Well, d*ck and fart jokes aren't going to do it, you need to get a girl laughing about the things you think she would find funny. If she does not think you are funny, you will know immediately!!! If you get some giggles you are on the right track. :ugeek:

What is this, middle school? People still make these jokes?

Heh, women are good at trying to seem like they're enjoying themselves when they're not. I've given up trying to figure this out. No, I don't know immediately since they laugh anyway. Kinda silly, but what can I do? Again, don't know why I'm making a big deal when I've already set myself off of women in life.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

It can't be the only good quality a guy has going for him but having a sense of humor is really important. Women can pretend a lot of things, doesn't mean they want to.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

No, but they do. Enough to the point where I can't determine sincerity. Kinda funny, in a sad way.

Re: Snarf's Guide to getting your penis wet

Are you trying to say you know more about women than a woman?

Wuh teh fuh?

Spend enough time around them, you get the jist of things!

Ok man, everyone is different, just saying how I approach the ladies. You are right, sometimes women can just be impossible to read, but it soon becomes easy to identify these ones and move on. I would also like to say that even hanging out with a couple of friends and makin jokes , laughing, you can attract women to you just from them seeing you interacting with others and having fun. Sometimes, you can catch a girl eyeing you across the room, do not pay attention, go on with yourself and try to put on somewhat of a small show for her, she will be behind your back the next time you turn around. Pounce!!!

You're so optimistic. While you have good intentions, I've learned not to bother. Perhaps someone else can learn from your advice. Someone who has hope

Hey man, that made me sad. Are you at peace with yourself and your decision to be alone? That is ok, many people do this now, but I would just like to know if you are really happy that way, more power to you if you are. If you are doing this as somewhat of a sub-conscious protest though, it is very harmful.

Yup. You're the best friend guy.

If you say you're funny and still can't attract women, it's because you're actually not funny, or every joke/humor attempt you make is approval seeking.

You have a shitty attitude, saying things like "I've sworn off women". You know what I read that as?

"I give up"


**** that **** dude. The fact that the phrase "I give up" is in your vocabulary is why nobody is attracted to you. You're too soft. Man up, step up, and keep trying. You'll die one day regardless...you may as well keep going for it until then.

If you'd like some additional resources to help you out, message me. I am all about some self-improvement and would be happy to help you. If you'd rather say "I can't" and live a sexless, depressing life, ignore me or quote this and continue to say I'm wrong.