Jokes

Yikes! Did you have a colander? I'd just want to dump them out and rinse them ASAP.

Nope, I had to pretty much dig them out one by one. After a while there were several people mud-raking in the livingroom, because it'd have taken too long otherwise. My friends also wanted me to keep the jelly so we could stick firecrackers in it at new years eve, but I couldn't really stand the smell so I threw away an incredibly flabby garbage-bag a few days later...

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Spoiler

Nothing

I will now prove that Teletubbies are evil.

If Teletubbies are a product of time and money, then:

Teletubbies = Time x Money

But, we all know time is money, so:

Teletubbies = Money x Money = Money^2

We know that money in the root of all evil, so:
Money = sqrt(Evil)
Money^2 = Evil

Ergo,

Teletubbies = Evil

Actually, that voice is on a spectrum that can be done by literally almost any human being. It takes muscle control in the throat, but literally anyone covers that spectrum.

I will now prove Geers is evil.

If Geers is a product of time and money, then:

Geers= Time x Money

But, we all know time is money, so:

Geers = Money x Money = Money^2

We know that money in the root of all evil, so:
Money = sqrt(Evil)
Money^2 = Evil

Ergo,

Geers= Evil

Too bad I'm not a product of time and money.

3987^12 + 4365^12 = 4472^12. Check it on your ten-digit calculator. SUCK IT FERMAT

Spoiler

Math troll is best troll.
Trololololololol.

I heard they just discovered Ebola on the Zimbabwean Cricket Team.

Spoiler: Punchline

Now they just need to find ebatsman and efielder

How does a crazy person walk through a forest?

Spoiler

They take the psychopath

Star Citizen lore: Several years ago, Original Systems (creator of hit game Arena Commander) acquired Electronic Access and turned it into a soulless husk designed to sell you stuff.

c wat they did thar?

You are a product of your parent's time and money.

Ouch.....


not labeling your axes that is

We dont serve hypothetical particles here.

A tachyon walks into a bar

What do you call 4 spanish men in a boat that has a hole in it?

Spoiler

Quatro cinco

What do you call the kitten that they took with them?

Spoiler

quatre cinq

Ahh 9gag. where else could people steal their stuff from? XD

What do you call a dead irishman?

Lepregone.


How do you make a programmer feel insecure?

Tell him P=NP.

A statistician, a chemist, and a biologist go hunting. The biologist aims at a deer and fires. The bullet flies 2 metres left of the deer. The chemist tries to shoot the deer and the bullet flies 2 metres right of the deer. The statistician jumps up triumphantly and yells "we got 'im!".

The average statistician is just plain mean.