Inside the Mind of the Pub Assassin

oh and dont forget the who wants to be a gazillionaire leaderboard pubstars. at the sign of any decent balanced competition you can bet that these players will immediately do one, some, or all of the following:
1. poll the audience of which class to switch to. the assault who GL's from his spawn until juice, the support who turtles like all hell and is invisible until they have juice and prays for OT to juice your ball, the sniper who puts ice traps on and around the spawn ring and snipes from just outside the side doors, or the tryhard assassin.
2. phone a friend into the room, or two, or three
3. make half of his team disappear. in most cases this involves himself and his party

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I LOVE THIS!

aGame0fThrones

can i haz part 3 plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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The Assassin ran to use the restroom. When she was on her way back, she came around a corner and instinctively face grappled the pub Assault. He tried to charge back to his spawn room but ended up charge-grappling her off the 21st floor of our broadcast building.




Going to bed now. Programming will resume after respawn (tomorrow).

tomorrow came and went and still nothing :cry:

Reporter: Alright, we're back on Inside the Mind of the Pub Assassin. We would have returned sooner but our Xbox froze. Assassin, where were we?

Assassin: You were laughing hysterically for some reason...

Reporter: Ha! Now I remember, we were talking about your kill/death ratio. Let's continue. What exactly is your kill/death ratio?

Assassin: I don't see why that matters but it's 0.639.

Reporter: It matters to our audience. Why is it that your kill/death ratio is so low? I'm asking because I couldn't help but notice that you have over $3 million in lifetime earnings, you should really have a better grasp on the game by now.

Assassin: I'm a very objective player and will do anything to make sure a Moneyball goes down and stays down.

Reporter: I understand that you are very objective, but we're talking about pushing bots against players that generally ignore them. That means, on average, you are going negative in a match where you are only in the bot lanes and your opponents are nowhere near you.

Assassin: I'm not sure I follow you...

Reporter: How are you dying so much?! What kills you the most?

Assassin: I die the most from failed grapples. Generally I'll chase for a kill on a low health player and I'll die for it.

Reporter: Can you tell us about the last time this happened?

Assassin: Sure. I was in LazeRazor arena pushing up the left lane when I noticed the Sniper was low health up on the bridge. I took the jump pad up to his level, lunged in and was plucked out of my lunge and double grappled. Before I could react, he peppered me with SMG rounds and meleed me.

Reporter: So the last time you tried to go for a kill on a low health player you were meleed? Haha! How often does this happen?

Assassin: What, dying for an attempted kill or getting meleed?

Reporter: Getting meleed.

Assassin: It's pretty common, It happens so often I don't even notice anymore.

Reporter: Wow, you're pretty bad then.

Assassin: How does getting meleed make me bad?

Reporter: It doesn't, but getting meleed that frequently...

Assassin: ...

Reporter: Anyway, let's move on. What do you do when you play a series of matches that you just can't win?

Assassin: I usually wait until post-game and invite a couple friends in to distract the enemy.

Reporter: Which friends would those be?

Assassin: The Assault and the Assault.

Reporter: You invite two Assaults into the game? How does that work out?

Assassin: It usually results in a win.

Reporter: Just one win?

Assassin: Yeah, we usually all leave the lobby after that.

Reporter: Forgive me for saying this but you seem like a real [bleep] coward.

Assassin: How does that make me a coward?

Reporter: You play a handful of losing matches and leave after you invite a couple of friends in and finally win. That is a real bitch move.

Assassin: *cloak hum* ...Uuuuugh...

Reporter: Are you ... Are you trying to grapple me?

Assassin: *cloak hum*

Reporter: You know I can see you, right?

Assassin: No you can't.

Reporter: Yes I can.

Assassin: No you can't, I'm cloaked.

Reporter: Agree to disagree. We're going to take a break anyway. Please don't go anywhere folks, we'll be right back.



--- COMMERCIAL BREAK ---

^^^^^ :lol:

you forgot to ask how to sin feels about fail smoke bomb jumping

i want part 4 now!!! :evil:

***Sorry for the inconvenience folks, we'll be right back after these messages***

Dis track iss dedicated to all da lettuce out dere.

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Bobomb

LMAO!!!

JESUS CHRIST ZOOM! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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:lol: :arrow:

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Idiot

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Hey! Don't post Tom's picture on the internet, that's rude.