[Fan Fiction]: Nought - ODYSSEY

Designed by humans, with human language and reference points. Who's to say using 'bollocks' to convey disrespect and disbelief will become obsolete?
The reason is that these war machines are sentient, free-thinking life forms with ideologies and past contact with humanity, which have disrupted senses of self and consciousness.
Let's take Smith in The Matrix. Yes, he had a destructive purpose, but he was capable of hatred and imaginative thought whilst verging on the neurotic:



All this despite him being a machine in the distant future.

I went to some effort controlling metaphors in the piece, not to mention pacing and elimination of outmoded clichés.
(Edit: Penis mode: Activate!)

I think you need to ask what assumptions you're bringing to the table based on past literary/generic tropes. Nor do I think that breaking from convention is evidence of poor writing, particularly when you can't provide me with a reason why these life-forms, designed by humanity, wouldn't use human reference points.

Ok ok, it's your baby; sheesh. Just saying it's not my cup of tea... at all.
Hell I don't like any of the current PA fiction that has the story told from anything close to the Commander's point of view.

Are they designed by humanity? That's a pretty big assumption.

They have memories of humanity, and have adopted human ideologies. It's safe to assume they can think in vaguely human ways - and if it isn't then any Lore/Fiction is utterly pointless as we will have no way of understanding their motivations.

That is something I have to disagree on. More on that later...

I can't remember who went on about trying to see things from a mosquito's perspective, but that's what springs to mind. If they're so alien that we have no way whatsoever of understanding their thought processes, then all we get is reported action through a third-person omniscient narrating human perspective.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts though, and ready to be persuaded

Revisited this and tweaked a quite a bit of stuff, including removing the silly slang. Think you're right that it's out of place. There's a reason the Dox is not a normal Dox so the impudence stays in

Ironic that I wrote this before Dox were amphibious, had to make that work ^^

Thinking of writing some more soon. Not sure how one would go about writing this lore without using the Commanders' perspectives? In the third person, there is no traditional speech for us to hear, no facial expressions to describe.

From the perspective of something else?

Something inanimate? Or non-sentient?

Are the Commanders the only sentient things in the galaxy in your fanfic?

Probably not. But they are the main subject matter, and I want it to be faithful to the existing official lore. I'll probably read that lore before I continue.

The official lore is...

not a good place to look for ideas, IMO.

You could also introduce some alien race, and tell us the story of how the existence of these machines affected their lives. *hint* *hint* *looks at my own story*

Not necessarily ideas, just settings and lore. I want to try and adhere to the official lore.

I will check it out I considered this, but as it's not currently there in the lore (as far as I'm aware, I have yet to screenshot all the Galactic War fragments) I probably wouldn't use it as a primary narrative perspective.

I'd ask why, but honestly, there isn't an answer you could give that would make me think that doing so was a good idea.

The whole thing needs to be gutted and re-written from scratch; something I plan to do when I have the time.

Can't say I'm surprised you in particular would want to do that
Let me know if you need a proof reader or somebody to bounce off
There are certainly different directions the lore could have gone in.

But there isn't really much in the official lore at the moment.

Just in case you don't have the links...

[Some summary of the lore we have so far with links]
[Q&A with the official lore writer guy]