The Anonymity Thread

So I guess you can't exactly call out other players for their ridiculousness anymore. :?


Well, I'd like to share a story I made up.



Today I was playing MNC and fell into a match that had just begun. As soon as I was given a prompt to pick my class I heard someone say "Should I end it fast or should we stretch it out and farm kills?" I chose my class, spawned and pressed the back button. Sure enough, it was a small party with a host Assassin. To protect the privacy of the person I made up, we'll call him MORCHANTH X.

Now as soon as I noticed it was MORCHANTH, I started heckling him (I only do that because I know it breaks his concentration and he gets real, REAL mad). It didn't take long for him to start shouting nonsense into the mic and even making up the occasional word. I can imagine me taunting his corpse was what sent him off the deep end. He kept right on yelling - literally - into his mic about how all I ever do is run around trying to ruin his lobbies, and when I would reply with direct logic he would just yell louder.

So his party of four and myself won that game and we moved on to another. I picked my class and read a couple messages I had received. Then I jumped into a few of my friends' parties and mocked MORCHANTH. Suddenly I heard Pit Girl telling me my moneyball had dropped. I backed out of the guide screen and noticed that the ball health was dropping rapidly. I upgraded my yellow skill and ran out of my spawn room and tossed my firebase just as the ball died. It deployed and killed MORCHANTH and ruined his 0-0-0 game. He immediately went off on me, exclaiming that post-game firebases are exploits and the only way I can get kills is by cheating.

Here's where it gets interesting, he spends the next 30 seconds telling everyone in the lobby that my team was terrible and he should never have won a match that fast. Then he goes on to lecture his lobby about how much more important wins are over k/d. I took that moment to interrupt him and as "If k/d is so unimportant, why did you freak out about dying after you had already won?"

I guess I'm muted and avoided now... :?





Please feel free to tell me similar stories about completely fictional idiots you haven't ever encountered while playing MNC.

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I like that story please tell more Grandpa#'s

Omitted detail: MORCHANTH does not like when you tell him he's "going HAM on those robots."

Question: why weren't you kick from party?

Answer: They were all in game chat.

Was the distress displayed on the level of the voice message I received form MORCHANTH?

I wouldn't know, I never heard your fictitious message from MORCHANTH.


Please try to be discreet Zatch. For the sake of keeping this thread from being locked, this is all made up... *wink*

Hilarious thread is hilarious.

Alright, I got one for yah.


One time, I got into a lobby with a guy named Biefglinde. He was host, and everybody else was low levels except for one random buzzer. On Spunky Cola, Biefglinde and the buzzer were against me and a bunch of level <40s. Biefglinde immediately picked assassin, and I knew he would try hard, so I picked assassin back.

As I suspected, he immediately charges to my bot spawn. So I charge over to his. When I get there, the buzzer, who is a tank, notices me. He immediately chases me all over his own bot spawn while I effortlessly lay waste to his bots (yay quick upgrade to smoke bomb). Meanwhile, Biefglinde is in my bot spawn with literally no resistance as my lvl <40 teammates are building lazer blazers, upgrading to assault charge 3 as soon as they can, and face grappling each other, not realizing that no bots are coming out of their spawns.

All of a sudden, the buzzer tank starts spawning bouncers. He spawns like 6 bouncers. Next thing I know, I see him get 4 bouncer kills. Then, my ball drops (despite the fact that I've killed every single bot, aside from the bouncers, to come out of the spawn).

Biefglinde immediately destroys my ball.

I think "well, next game I'll get a 2 lane map where he can't hide in bot spawns as easily as before" but the host migrated as soon as the game was over. I've run into Biefglinde about two more times since then, and both times he pretty much immediately left the game, no matter what class he or I was playing.

So over the last couple weeks a very storied player who has been rumored to have boosted for stats and a notorious idiot ran into several of my lobbies. To keep his identity secret, we will call him DustCLAN. Over the past weeks i have dominated DustCLAN on several classes with abusive scores, 40-50kill games on gunner, 30-40 kill games sniper, even big games with support, with the occasional "i just raped your team and got 50 kills in 7 minutes" tryhard assault, just because i knew it would piss him off.

In every game against DustCLAN he would play assault and run poor scores such as 3-8, 4-7, with the occasional burst of 4-0 managing to avoid me successfully for full game durations (over our several encounters his aim is very unimpressive, and his gameplay is more predictable than knowing that the coach's kid is going to do when he gets the ball). Over these many games i have gotten dozens of hatemails about how "he is better than me because he is higher on the leaderboards" and "all i do is play with parties i am terrible at this game on my own" and of course "1v1 me" rather than even attempt to explain to someone who holds the leaderboards as sacred script determining the best players in MNC about private matches, i accept his 1v1 on his host. Of course, i never get an invite. But in the following days, with more confrontations, i continue to make him quit as soon as i enter the rooms, get more hatemail, all the while wondering where my 1v1 invite is.

So today, i get on DungeonDefenders, and get several random messages from DustCLAN asking for an invite. After several messages i ask why. He sends me a voice message saying "yo bro i can give you modded weapons and armor if you want." At this point i am laughing pretty hard, this otherwise bi-polar idiotic crackpot now wants to be my friend, why because once we step out of MNC everything is all peaches and cream? I dont hold grudges, but judging by the obvious obnoxious and annoying nature of these person, it is an unwanted friendship i would rather not entertain for the sake of being nice, so i simply reply with "No thanks i do not want any modded weapons." i wanted to respond with something like "if you beat me 1v1 in MNC you can play with me"" but i opted to not ruin my evening by burning an image of "DustCLAN sent you a message" into my television, and could not be bothered with turning notifications off.

That is the end of my tale, for those of you bored enough to read this great wall of text, i hope you enjoyed it. Keep a look out for this thread as i hope to entertain you with more tales and fictional characters of my MNC endeavors.

I know DustCLAN is fictitious, but you painted a damn good picture. I actually even have an image of his voice in my head. I imagine him having an accent that sounds like a mix of Mexican and autistic. If I'm wrong, don't ruin it for me.

He puerto rican

While similar, autistic and homosexual are actually different things. Wrong secondary accent.

NOTE: I'm not saying Officer Willy is gay...I'm just saying that his name is Officer Willy, and he can tell the flavor of a Popsicle just by sitting on it.

RustCLAN plays 99% Assault and 1% Support.

WOAH HEY MAN NO DROPPING NAMES HERE BRO SOMEBODY BAN THIS RULE BREAKER

My bad, I really didn't pay attention -_-

Oooooh, wrong Puerto Rican.

Here is my story so grab a blanket....

I was playing with a buddy, feedle, you might know him. And we decide to go for a pubstomp session and we get into a game with a guy named NumberTaco along with 2 other of his friends. So once the game ends we get into a following game on Spunky and i go Assault and Feedle picks support. The opening game starts fine, it seems pretty even, even though Numbertaco goes pub sin and his 2 friends are gunner (with a leash) and a support. After it hits the 6min mark are team starts leaving and me and feedle are left with 2 split screeners against there team of 6 soon to be 5 later on. I try to push them back with my juicing but i cant do much since we dont have any bot control and are ball eventually drops but i manage to get it back up even though NumberTaco was juicing and tapping it. Eventually we lose the game due to bad bot play and i finish the game something like 33-x-3.

NumberTaco procceds to send me this message (changed his GT to keep it confidential);




so i simply ignored it but then the next match it turned into a 3v3 me,feedle,noob vs. numbertaco n' friends on steelpeel

When the game loaded all 3 of them left and i sent them a message along the lines of, "On even teams your are no challenge." And he respondes by sending me this message.




I concluded, which i knew from the start, NumberTaco only likes to play on stacked teams so he can feel like he has some actual skill when he beats you.

The funniest part was NumberTaco was on my friends list on till he removed me after that game :cry: . I guess some people cant take friendly trash talk.

Expectations are retarded.

So I was playing with GoldieBAD2000BAD. She killed bots.

I love this friggin thread.