My first commentary - Check it out

Hey guys I did my first commentary and I want you guys to rate it and tell me what I need to get better doing. This was with mnc so I hope you guys like it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5utZEjq_sQ

Please rate out of 20. Also remember I was developing bronchitis when I recorded this so sorry for the shitty cold.

the people you played against were trash, the assassin that backstabbed you should have killed you, easily, i'm not talking about the grapple killing you because you used gold armor, but she should have led into the grapple or finished it off.

I was turned off by the subject of the video: "How to play a perfect game as class "x".

I was going to give it a chance. I made it about 3-4 mins in, up to the point where you said something along the lines of "I basically only go for kills" and stopped watching.

I don't know if you really only go for kills (since right after that you said you play for bots too or something,) but if you want to make good commentaries I would avoid letting things like that slip out.

The little bit of commentary that I did see was decent and slightly informative, but the competition in the parts of the video I saw were pretty bad. (I don't think you had less than Green health despite being about 4 feet away from multiple enemies in the opening mins of this video. Granted, the sniper trap constantly CCing enemies at the top of that lift probably made it extremely easy to not take much damage.)

Other than the fact this is what I would post myself if you had not said anything, If he had any competition he would have died once.

Im Hudson took the words right out of my mouth. I don't think I seen anyone in that whole match push the bot lane.

[Edit]
As an Assault player myself I can say you have a weird playing style with him. Also a lot of what you say is your option, not facts.