Inside the Mind of the Pub Assassin

A dark and chilling expos that journeys deep inside the mind of one of the most wretched, fun-wrecking villains of Monday Night Combat...

The Pub-Assassin


Reporter: Hello and welcome to Inside the Mind of the Pub Assassin. Tonight we have before us the most aggravating of foes. Someone who has curbed the enjoyment of many just-for-fun pub stomps. She has single-handedly dropped the Moneyball on whole parties of 4 who were only going for melee kills. This person refuses to go positive in a public match even when nobody is even giving a sh*t about bots.

Assassin: ...

Reporter: So Assassin, what exactly goes through your mind when you enter a lobby full of bot level players and see that there just might be someone better than you?

Assassin: ...

Reporter: Assassin...?

Assassin: ...

Reporter: Hello?

Assassin: Oh sorry, I had my mic muted. To answer your question, when I someone in the lobby that has a robot next to their name I usually just want to avoid them altogether. I figure if I just keep it low key and juice camp the bot lanes, I can win.

Reporter: It sounds to me like you're scared.

Assassin: I'm not scared, I just don't like losing and really don't have any gun skill.

Reporter: Why don't you try to practice at a class that requires gun skill instead of being content in being a middle of the road pub Assassin?

Assassin: Why would I do that when I could just kill robots for 3 minutes and win? I mean the good kids in the lobby must think that accounts for something, right?

Reporter: So you're telling me you're looking for some sort of approval from the decent players?

Assassin: Haha! Did I say that?

Reporter: In different words, yes you did.

Assassin: ... *sniffles* ...

Reporter: Would you like a tissue? Do we need to take a break?

Assassin: ... Yes p-p-please...

Reporter: Okay, we'll be right back to continue Inside the Mind of the Pub Assassin after these messages.


--- COMMERCIAL BREAK ---

Part dos?

Comercials always take forever...

I need revenue.

HERE'S YOUR COMMERCIAL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN5kJxrNHdI&feature=fvst

PLEASE DON'T TROLL T***T****s IN MY THREAD!

srs? i didnt even bring it up

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Can't get a Jap to translate video.

Let's make "In the Mind of the TBK clan".

Don't use that Obsydian text please

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Reporter: Alright, we're back. For those of you just joining us, please go back and read the OP. Assassin, are you okay? Shall we continue?

Assassin: Sure. *sniffle*

Reporter: Before the break we discovered that you have a tendency to push bots in an attempt to gain approval from the better known MNC Pros. What makes you think that running from every encounter and hiding by the Annihilator would gain you any kind of respect?

Assassin: I don't know, maybe because they might see me as a good player if I can beat them.

Reporter: Do you really think they would see you as a good player when you run away at the very sight of them?

Assassin: But, But I beat them.

Reporter: No, you helped your bots into their base while they were meleeing your Tank. It's different. By the way, I spoke with ChRoN2cLe and Boostvention and they're not impressed.

Assassin: Really? Why not?

Reporter: I'm not going into the details of our conversation. It's actually part of next week's show, Portrait of a Pub Assault, so I can't disclose the details.

Assassin: But I thought they'd think I was cool...

Reporter: They don't. Moving on, how did you discover that pushing bots against decent players was a "legit strategy"?

Assassin: I read the guides here. Before that, I was just running around grappling people all day long.

Reporter: I bet you went through a lot of clones back then.

Assassin: I still do...

Reporter: *chuckles*

Assassin: What's funny?

Reporter: HAHAHA!!!! We need to take a break! Be right back. HAHAHAHAHA!!!



---COMMERCIAL BREAK---

99% of the forum people who have an assassin custom class are guilty of this.

I know, that's why I'm conducting this interview.

What's done is done.

Out of every single pub class, which is more fun to play against?

IMO, >pub tank

Feel free to derail, this is a commercial break. I will rerail when the break is over.

Pub Support.

I pub assassin to troll. Woop woop.

dont forget to interview the clark kent assassins. they may seem like mild mannered assaults, gunners, and even snipers. but if a recognizable name comes in and drops 10 kills in two minutes, you can bet they will jump into the nearest phone booth and transform into tryhard assassin, for the sake of, um.. well.. i guess this is why the interview is needed