I am a noob baby please help be Uber Entertainment!

I am a noob idiot so please help me be able to play the game without being slaughtered! Like could you please not make the firebase so killer? And while we're like at it like could the Support class HAVE JUMP FATIGUE SO HE CAN'T LOCK ON WITH HIS ULTRA-WEAK GHOSTBUSTER GUN AND KILL ME BECAUSE I'M INCAPABLE OF SHOOTING SOMEONE?!?!?!?
Also my intellectual mind has discovered that the double barrel mini-gun for the gunner is too strong even though it is a god-damned double barrel mini-gun and just a single barrel mini-gun from the 80's not a double barrel from the future but a single barrel from the 80's would splatter even the most buff and/or obese humans almost instantly. Oh yea do something to keep me from getting headshot by the sniper, make juice EASIER to get, have the announcer say less lines instead of recording more dialogue, and just figure out more ways to nerf support in general because i'm bad at gamez and it's embarassing when I get killed be the support and my brother laughs at me.

:evil: :twisted: Holy Toledo! I was just possessed by a MNC fan who is in the LCD. :twisted: :evil:

You were possessed by someone in LCD Soundsystem? AWESOME.

If you are hot that was a funny joke.

That was the troll equivalent of premature ejaculation. The name was a good start, but you blew your load on the first day you signed up. Poor show.

On topic, the forums are a silly place. But if I can unload half a clip of Jet Gun onto a bunny-hopping Support without it hurting him, my Shenanigans-o-meter will be twitching like a twitchy thing.

You totally pwned that noob.

1. i'm no troll, i'm a douche bag. sorry i don't fit into what you expect out of an uncouth person on the internet.

2. you must really suck and not be hitting the support, or it's a lag problem, in which case we shouldn't be nerfing the support but complaining about the lag.

3. Q. how many guys who say "pwned" and "noob" without being sarcastic does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. who knows you can play video games **** fat chicks and cry in the dark.

Well what are you suppose to do after ****ing a fat chick if not cry in the dark?