Yeah, I'm honestly not too good at writing. Especially not on the spot... but, eh, it sounds like fun. Here wee gooo... Sports. Typically when someone hears that word, they think of Basketball or Football. Maybe even Baseball or Tennis. They think of joyful, harmless fun. Little children signing up for Little League Baseball in the Summer. However... recently, that image has been reshaped. When I hear the word sports, I think of blood. Guns. Violence. Screaming. Loads of money. People cheering at your pain, hardships, and guilt. Monday Night Combat has completely reshaped sports in its entirety. Death rates in the US have greatly increased since the creation of this sick, twisted game. No one thinks outside of the box of this lighthearted sport filled with Bacon and fanboy dweebs dressed up in a mascot outfit while running around the Arena. They don't think of sorrow, grief, pain, and most of all, guilt. No one thinks of the guilt that sweeps over you as you play a shotgun shell straight into the face of an Assassin who, 5 minutes ago, was all anticipated to be out on the field. You swept away all of their future. Their families will probably be in deep despair at the loss of that player. All because of you. You killed them. The sound of the horn runs across the arena. The match has begun. I'm a Support. I quickly choose to upgrade my Hack and my Firebase skills. I sprint outside of the door while healing my fellow Gunner as he flies over to the center of the Arena. As soon as I step outside of the blue forcefield, light fills my eyes. It nearly blinds me. I rush over to my typical spot that I build my Firebase at. As soon as I place it, I can hear the hum of an Assassin's cloak nearby. I begin to grow worried as I search for the suspect with my shotgun out and readied. A sweat drop rolls down my face as I hear the hum become faint and the Assassin is gone. I hack my Firebase and leave to go and further heal my teammates. "This is going to be a long match..." I say to myself as I hurry over. Eh. Too dark? :?
Pretty good, except for one key detail: Assassins don't have families. They're clones, just like the rest of the Pros.
There's too much punctuation. You should probably be using a bit more commas instead of writing multiple sentences to get one point across. Example of what you're doing wrong: I have to do things. To keep my house tidy. Some of these things include cleaning and taking out the trash. Correct version: I have to do some things to keep my house tidy, like cleaning and taking out the trash. Another thing you should improve on is perspective. If you're going to write in first person, and you're character is the support, you should probably make him sound a bit more jolly and helpful, like the character himself. If you want to be all "edgy and rebellious" you probably should have written from the perspective of an Assassin.
True. Thanks guys. If anything, I was pretty much just trying to get a little bit of help on some writing, and also just because I was extremely bored and felt like writing. :lol: Thanks.
