No one likes "Pub Assault" (story time)

This story takes place at a party being hosted by the sniper, who has invited several of his friends over to play some games.

Sniper: Glad everyone has shown up! Gonna be a fun night!

Gunner: Let's do it tiki style!

*Awkward silence follows*

Sniper: Anyway... I've got everything ready to go guys, so let's play!

Support: This will be fun if your cousin doesn't show up again Assault...

Assault: I know I know... Well we didn't invite him. He shouldn't show up.

Sniper: He never gets invited... He just shows up... He's "too good for an invite."

Tank: Riiiight... So who's the chick? *pointing at assassin*

Sniper: I don't quite know... She's shy... She likes jumping on people's faces though. Don't know that that's about, but it's about all she does.

Assassin: *giggles*

Sniper: Anyway.... So who is up first?

All: Me! Me! M----

*Someone charges through the door*

Pub: Glad I could show up for you guys!!!

Support (aside to Sniper): Maybe if we ignore him he will leave....

Sniper: That never works... He doesn't need our attention, he has his own.

Support: *sigh*

Pub: I'm first!

Gunner: As usual...

Pub: But before we start! Where do you keep the juice?

Sniper: Anni has it in the other room...

*Pub rushes out urgently and returns with a glass of juice*

Pub: Alright I'm ready!

Sniper: No one really likes playing with you when you're hyped up on juice...

Pub: Well... Why not?

Sniper: It just.... It makes it seem like the game is too easy for you, and no one else has fun...

Pub: What do you mean? If I'm having fun, we're all having fun, right?

Assault (mumbles): Glad I'm the sane one...

Pub: What's the cuz? You wanna take me on?! Alright let's go!

Assault: Capture the flag alright with you?

Pub: It's all the same man!

Tank: Well actually---

Gunner: Just stop Tank...

Tank: Yeah...

*The game starts up*

Pub: Hey! Hey! I got you!!! I got you!

Assault: Am I a flag?

Pub: Yeah, you're a fag.

Assault: *sigh*

*The match ends several minutes later*

Pub: Dude, 47 and 2... I'm amazing. You went 3 and 17... Noob!

Assault: But I still won...

Pub: What did you win?

Assault: The match...?

Pub: Nonono, my KD was better, so I won. Nice try though. I need more juice!

*Pub leaves in a hurry*

Support: We should just leave...

Sniper: Please don't. I don't want this to be ruined again.

Gunner: Make him leave.

Pub (in the other room): Where's the juice?! Wait a minute(<--see what I did there?)... Nevermind!

Tank: It's your house man, just tell him to go.

Sniper: He listens as much as Assassin talks.

Assassin: ...

Assault: This is true...

*Pub comes back in with more juice*

Pub: Who is next?! Hahaha!!!

Tank: I'm going to leave...

Pub: You mad?

Tank: No actually... Yeah sure.

*Tank leaves*

Sniper: This again... ugh.

Gunner: I'm gonna go too...

Pub: Loser!

*Gunner leaves*

Sniper: Pub, do you know how much the juice costs?

Pub: 500$, why?

Sniper: Isn't that a bit... I don't know... Expensive?

Pub: But it makes me good at this game bro!

Support: Right... I'm out.

Assault: Yeah, even I can't put up with him.

*Assassin walks toward the door with them and Sniper talks with them by the door*

Sniper: Don't leave me here with this...

Assault: You can come with us...

Sniper: But it's my house...

Pub: You guys heading out?! Get some juice while you're gone. I need it.

Support: Just let him have your house, he's too annoying to put up with.

Assault: I'm sorry, my aunt said he was born with some dysfunction that the doctor couldn't identify.

Sniper: I see...

*Assassin sneaks out*

Support: Let's just go...

*Support leaves with Assault*

Sniper: *sigh*

Pub: Where you going?

Sniper: The liquor store...

*Sniper leaves*

Pub (looking at his juice): I love what you do!

I can see I'm not wanted here.


Nice sniping btw

TL;DR

It says "Story time" implying it will be lengthy, like a story is yeah? Therefore if you don't wish to read a story, you need not click on the topic, yes? Or too much sense being used?

TMS;Ignored
(Too much sense;Ignored)

Damn, that was corny.

Who else but Taco?

So corny it makes me horny. You have a potential career in erotic literature my friend!

My teachers always told me that, but I never believed 'em.

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Foo'

If you didn't have a history with hate mails then the people here will probably give you a compliment saying "this is funny" even though it's really not.

I'm just being brutally honest.

I was bored, typed up a bad story in 10 minutes, I didn't expect much.

You could of made a thread about "I'm not sending hate mails anymore" with that 10 minutes...

I can also stop sending hatemail with no obligation to informing the community (as they don't care) which takes no time at all. And I've been hatemail free for quite some time.

You're right.

Wasn't this thread about the most satisfying things in MNC? Stop derailing!

Going cold turkey? Congratulations!

I actually lol'd at the end. Better than expected. 7/10

No sarcasm here, actually.

It's nice to know people in the community have enough coherrance to piece together a... piece.