The Sarcastic Guide for Assassins

The Assassin! OMG lets all play the coolest most unbeatable class! I mean the class is called "Assassin" - how can you beat that? And she has a freaking dagger! I'm gunna go online and rein death from behind in a flurry of stabs, taunts and smoke mwuahahaha!

However, to all those luckless stalkers with more deaths than sense and don't know where they're going wrong. Just a short and rather down-to-the-point guide on how to play an assassin successfully from 2nd hand exp (I'm not awesome enough to play an Assassin this good or I am often the poor Support who's always been killed by players utilising this guide!)

1. When you see a fully upgraded enemy Support or Lazer Blaser turret, run uncloaked up to it slash it into so much scrap metal and cogs in seconds! The enemy team won't know what hit 'em!

2. After an enemy pro spots you, stealth and run directly to them in a straight line; not only will this tactical move confuse them, it will also allow you to 1 hit kill them and prevent them from grappling you back.

3. Invisibility is invulnerability. When cloaked, you can run through enemy pro (i.e Gunner) fire without worry and take them down like the ball of pain that you are! This works against every class.

4. When there is a group of well armed and angry reds/blues working together, run into the middle and immediately grapple the first pro you see, all the others will be too busy to see you kill their mate and make a break for it, allowing you to easily build a strong kill/death ratio.

5. Take a Tank or Gunner head-on! Your superior defences and close quarter damage far out strips theirs, watch your knife tear through their metal encased flesh in mere seconds.

6. Be a lone wolf! The game is based on every-man-for-himself (or her) so ignore those turret slots, friendly cries for help and save that hard earned cash up, the team is fine by its self and your mission is far too important for the likes of defending anyway! Sulk around the middle area, look for enemy pros who are busy sniping or mini-gunning your bots then go for the kill.

7. Your cloak is vital! At level 3 it allows you to constantly use it when standing still, this means you should find a busy area and stand in it cloaked for ages until an enemy pro runs by and allows you to grapple them! Don't worry about the enemy bots charging your base they can't see you cloaked so you can ignore them.

8. Your grapple is so strong and scary even it's cool down is afraid of it, constantly grapple enemy pros, evening after killing one. This will guarantee a relentless train of grapples that will see your k/d and score rocket.

9. The enemy is everywhere! Cloaked. F.L.Y.ing, Shot gunning, Charging. How do you know they aren't in your head? Hear those cries for help? People asking you to upgrade turrets? DON'T! That is most probably the other team you can hear trying to waste your time and money by distracting you.

No seriously:
If you find yourself with a 3 kill / 20 death scenario (or similar) then maybe it's time to possibly consider playing another class or running through the tutorial a couple of times until you find the RT button and learn there is more to the class than:
"Cloak" --> "LT Spam" --> "You kill ___" --> "You die" --> "Re-spawn" --> "Repeat".

I say this not out of crying at being constantly killed, but out of pity that soo many Assassin players are retarded in their game play. I, like many other players can think and react to you Master Ninja of MNC. Learn to utilise all your skills (Did you know you can power jump after pressing Smoke??????), you have a lunge attack! Help your team and please, please keep running into my turret uncloaked or trying to grapple a deployed tank, your ingenious antics always make me laugh.

I lawl'd :mrgreen:

Point 2... I cant count the amount of times this happens even with a super computer.
Best is when they grapple you from the front in a panic and when I backpedal shoot them (with assault you can just about out run them and get them) they just run in a straight line right into the bullets. hahaha. Brilliant.

But I thought grapple spam was the new cruise control for cool.

Almost every time there's another Assassin on my team, it's like they've not only read this guide, but built a religion around it. In fact, I stopped playing Assassin for a whole ONE GAME to try Support, and I had an Assassin run balls first, uncloaked and unjuiced, into my firebase. 9 times.

I love assassins. I've built and upgraded an entire Rockit turret just by killing the same stupid assassin who ran up and tried to grapple the tank I was healing. Much lawls were had.

As an assassin with a brain this guide made me lol.

Argh Dammit! 24 kill streak and 1 off my new shiny Uber Streak title when mr 2 kills 19 death assassin makes it past my all seeing eyes and grapples my back Slightly annoyed at my own blindless but one cannot be too upset, who do you think gave them 19 deaths in the first place :lol:

An A for effort and an A for humor.

My god thank you for the laugh.

It's especially horrible for my team of four, since we have one guy who goes assasin and he's good at it, knows how to survive, who to go for and bolts to the annihilator when he can. Problem is, he rarely gets to play it since the random cool guys we get all want to go assassin (and being a good teammate he switches to something else). These assasins are so dumb I've seen them randomly swinging at walls.... uh...

Though to be fair ,there are plenty of idiots playing every class, it's just easiest to spot the assassins. I once found a friendly firebase at the top of our base next to the spawn that was in such a horrible position that it couldn't hit anything on the ground and only half of the base walkways...

Tonight I had a support on my team who actually put his firebase INSIDE the spawn point. It was so ridiculous that I saw it and didn't even register what I'd seen until one of my buddies asked why there was a firebase inside our spawn. It was there the entire match.

I personally play assassin and I like to think I play it well. I, like your friend, bolt for the annihilator the moment it's ready (if I'm not there in the moments before it's ready.) I've hit that thing 4+ times in a single match. I also spend a ton of money on base upgrades and gremlins, use my smoke grenades to stun turrets so I can kill them, do my part for lane control, make a beeline for the jackbots, etc etc.

The problem is that quite a few players who play Assassin don't play to benefit the team but to try and rack up loads of kills, this sole visionary approach to what is primarily a team based game is rather selfish and often results in the team lacking a working and cooperative member of the hack n' slash community. Assassins can power through BlackJacks so easy or can slow an advancing JackBot with their grapple. But in reality you just see them racking up deaths constantly trying to take down enemy Pros who have wised to the simplistic methods of attack. Of course there will be players of each class who are more burden than beneficial but it is the Assassin which stands out like a sore thumb and prevents better players from choosing the class.

my fellow HG buddy quite literally went 43-0 in a game with me our team against 4 assasins and 2 support all he did was stay in base defending the ball and happilly spammed away on said retarded ninja masters.... i mean really im hopeless but isnt the 1st thing in game it tells u about the Assassin is to not run right into a tank or HG?

hmmm guess all the ninja masters thought it not important enough to listen to that fact and assumed there sheer awesomeness would see them safely thru the bullets

fer the record i went K-25 A-20 D-4 in the same match lol silly ninja's....

but thanks fer the UBER lol keep em coming

see what i did up there clever eh!?

Me and my buds were playing together when we came up on a team of people who were under lvl 10 (i was 54 at the time) we start the game and i went support built a firebase in front of the moneyball, then i pressed back to look at the scoreboard and EVERY one of them was an assassin i went 45-0

Thank you. I've been looking for a good assassin guide and i think this one is the best.
I used this guide and went 10 and 56 fourteen times in a row.
Thats the best i've ever done in any game.

The funnest games I've had is when I see 3 assassins on the enemy team. It makes me glad that I play a Gunner. That's how I got my 3-fer achievement.

I frequently play assasin (very well) and find myself frustrated too, when some n00b picks up the assasin slot on the team, and end up picking support. I do well none the less, but not nearly as well as I do with the assasin. It is truly frustrating.

Thanks for the laugh!

As Guy from Final Fight on Super Street Fighter says upon defeat.

"Profound... sadness!"

I'm really tired of the stereotype of scrubby assassins but am saddened further by the fact that it's true 90% of the time.