7 easy steps to simplify the English language

Earlier today I payed a visit to the Minecraft forum. If you have spend a certain amount of time there, you might have noticed, that the MC community is working hard on perfecting the English language.

Most of them don't have a background in linguistics, however, they have a natural talent to find the obvious flaws and to correct them. Based on those improvements I have devised 7 easy steps to simplify the English language:


1) any form of capitalization is obviously a waste of energy. this has been demonstrated successfully on message boards and chat channels all over the world.

2) complex grammar as you are and your, there, they are and their only confuses the recipient needlessly. it's far easier and faster to use shortened forms like yu' r and the' r.

3) short forms like yu' r and the' r can be further compressed to yur and ther.

4) se traditional 'th' can be shortened to a simple 's', ou to o or u and gh to f. sers no need to use two letters where one suffices.

5) dobled letrs and silent vowels can be stemlind to on letr or left ut completly.

6) similar sondin letrs lik w and v ar replacd by se letr sats fastr to prononc or rit.

7) comas serv no fursr purpos sam as ful stops or semicolons


i hop u agre sat sese changs ar lon ovrdu an wil led to a betr undrstandin betwen peple al ovr se vorld

sank u

What you know about Newspeak, hater?

im not hatin sere shuld be cler and esy ruls to folov so

Still...

You speak german right? Then you should know how simplified english already is in that regard. Anymore is, in my opinion, not needed.

All ovr se vorld, hoh hoh hoh, I surrender immediately.

Thank you for proving my point... :3

ZOMG, I made a mistake! It must obviously read al ovr se vorld!

This is a personal thing. Opera did point out that it's wrong, but to me it looks wrong writing those words with capital letters and seeing as I know sh*t about grammar I write things so they look right to me (works in both german and english so yeah).

I only disagree with you on the entire capital thing. The beginning of a sentence should be the only word with a capital letter, everything else should be lowercase.

What about the spaces between words? The Romans already proved they are useless. They were highly cultured and never used spaces. Furthermore they also didn't used the J and U, so they have to be replaced with the I and V.

howfrozenandhowfaintithenbecame,
askmenot,reader!foriwriteitnot,
sincewordswouldfailtotelltheeofmystate.
iwasnotdeadnorliving.thinkthyself
ifquickconceptionworkintheeatall,
howididfeel.thatemperor,whosways
therealmofsorrow,atmidbreastfromth'ice
stoodforth;andiinstatureammorelike
agiant,thanthegiantsareinhisarms.
marknowhowgreatthatwholemustbe,whichsuits
withsuchapart.ifhewerebeautiful
asheishideousnow,andyetdiddare
toscowluponhismaker,wellfromhim
mayallourmis'ryflow.ohwhatasight!
howpassingstrangeitseem'd,whenididspy
uponhisheadthreefacesneinfront
ofhuevermilion,th'othertwowiththis
midwayeachshoulderjoin'dandatthecrest;
theright'twixtwanandyellowseem'd:theleft
tolookon,suchascomefromwhenceoldnile
stoopstothelowlands.undereachshotforth
twomightywings,enormousasbecame
abirdsovast.sailsneversuchisaw
outstretch'donthewidesea.noplumeshadthey,
butwereintexturelikeabat,andthese
heflapp'di'th'air,thatfromhimissuedstill
threewinds,wherewithcocytustoitsdepth
wasfrozen.atsixeyeshewept:thetears
adownthreechinsdistill'dwithbloodyfoam.
ateverymouthhisteethasinnerchamp'd
bruis'daswithpond'rousengine,sothatthree
wereinthisguisetormented.butfarmore
thanfromthatgnawing,wastheforemostpang'd
bythefiercerending,whenceofttimestheback
wasstriptofallitsskin."thatupperspirit,
whohathworsepunishment,"sospakemyguide,
"isjudas,hethathathhisheadwithin
andpliesthefeetwithout.ofth'othertwo,
whoseheadsareunder,fromthemurkyjaw
whohangs,isbrutus:lo!howhedothwrithe
andspeaksnot!th'othercassius,thatappears
solargeoflimb.butnightnowre-ascends,
anditistimeforparting.allisseen."

Aww yeah.

Vlaneyurawesome

nufsad

I can't read most of this thread. :|
:lol:

Jim where Bill had had had had had had had had had was right

Obviously I graduated from college with the wrong degree.

The only thing you ever read.

Tanks for se gu1de i love t4lking 1337speek n0w i can g0 4nd sh0w0ff t0 all 0f my fRiends!

I sincerely hope that we don't devolve to that level completely, and if so, it happens after my death.

Nyx, long time, no see! How are you?

Hey Jessep! Life is good. How the heck are you? Haven't seen you on IM in a while....

I agree, I hope I'm gone when this is the norm. The only exception: I think all DVRs should have only newspeak for the UI so the 'old people need help programming the VCR' joke can live on forever.

Same old, same old. The IM thing is true, that needs to change!

I agree...