7 easy steps to simplify the English language

Discussion in 'Unrelated Discussion' started by Col_Jessep, July 5, 2011.

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  1. Col_Jessep

    Col_Jessep Moderator Alumni

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    Earlier today I payed a visit to the Minecraft forum. If you have spend a certain amount of time there, you might have noticed, that the MC community is working hard on perfecting the English language.

    Most of them don't have a background in linguistics, however, they have a natural talent to find the obvious flaws and to correct them. Based on those improvements I have devised 7 easy steps to simplify the English language:


    1) any form of capitalization is obviously a waste of energy. this has been demonstrated successfully on message boards and chat channels all over the world.

    2) complex grammar as you are and your, there, they are and their only confuses the recipient needlessly. it's far easier and faster to use shortened forms like yu' r and the' r.

    3) short forms like yu' r and the' r can be further compressed to yur and ther.

    4) se traditional 'th' can be shortened to a simple 's', ou to o or u and gh to f. sers no need to use two letters where one suffices.

    5) dobled letrs and silent vowels can be stemlind to on letr or left ut completly.

    6) similar sondin letrs lik w and v ar replacd by se letr sats fastr to prononc or rit.

    7) comas serv no fursr purpos sam as ful stops or semicolons


    i hop u agre sat sese changs ar lon ovrdu an wil led to a betr undrstandin betwen peple al ovr se vorld

    sank u
  2. vortexcontinuum

    vortexcontinuum Active Member

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    What you know about Newspeak, hater?
  3. Col_Jessep

    Col_Jessep Moderator Alumni

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    im not hatin sere shuld be cler and esy ruls to folov so :D
  4. Vlane

    Vlane New Member

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    Still...

    You speak german right? Then you should know how simplified english already is in that regard. Anymore is, in my opinion, not needed.

    All ovr se vorld, hoh hoh hoh, I surrender immediately.
  5. Col_Jessep

    Col_Jessep Moderator Alumni

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    Thank you for proving my point... :3

    ZOMG, I made a mistake! It must obviously read al ovr se vorld! ;)
  6. Vlane

    Vlane New Member

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    This is a personal thing. Opera did point out that it's wrong, but to me it looks wrong writing those words with capital letters and seeing as I know sh*t about grammar I write things so they look right to me (works in both german and english so yeah).

    I only disagree with you on the entire capital thing. The beginning of a sentence should be the only word with a capital letter, everything else should be lowercase.
  7. Robbert

    Robbert New Member

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    What about the spaces between words? The Romans already proved they are useless. They were highly cultured and never used spaces. Furthermore they also didn't used the J and U, so they have to be replaced with the I and V.
  8. Vlane

    Vlane New Member

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    howfrozenandhowfaintithenbecame,
    askmenot,reader!foriwriteitnot,
    sincewordswouldfailtotelltheeofmystate.
    iwasnotdeadnorliving.thinkthyself
    ifquickconceptionworkintheeatall,
    howididfeel.thatemperor,whosways
    therealmofsorrow,atmidbreastfromth'ice
    stoodforth;andiinstatureammorelike
    agiant,thanthegiantsareinhisarms.
    marknowhowgreatthatwholemustbe,whichsuits
    withsuchapart.ifhewerebeautiful
    asheishideousnow,andyetdiddare
    toscowluponhismaker,wellfromhim
    mayallourmis'ryflow.ohwhatasight!
    howpassingstrangeitseem'd,whenididspy
    uponhisheadthreefaces:eek:neinfront
    ofhuevermilion,th'othertwowiththis
    midwayeachshoulderjoin'dandatthecrest;
    theright'twixtwanandyellowseem'd:theleft
    tolookon,suchascomefromwhenceoldnile
    stoopstothelowlands.undereachshotforth
    twomightywings,enormousasbecame
    abirdsovast.sailsneversuchisaw
    outstretch'donthewidesea.noplumeshadthey,
    butwereintexturelikeabat,andthese
    heflapp'di'th'air,thatfromhimissuedstill
    threewinds,wherewithcocytustoitsdepth
    wasfrozen.atsixeyeshewept:thetears
    adownthreechinsdistill'dwithbloodyfoam.
    ateverymouthhisteethasinnerchamp'd
    bruis'daswithpond'rousengine,sothatthree
    wereinthisguisetormented.butfarmore
    thanfromthatgnawing,wastheforemostpang'd
    bythefiercerending,whenceofttimestheback
    wasstriptofallitsskin."thatupperspirit,
    whohathworsepunishment,"sospakemyguide,
    "isjudas,hethathathhisheadwithin
    andpliesthefeetwithout.ofth'othertwo,
    whoseheadsareunder,fromthemurkyjaw
    whohangs,isbrutus:lo!howhedothwrithe
    andspeaksnot!th'othercassius,thatappears
    solargeoflimb.butnightnowre-ascends,
    anditistimeforparting.allisseen."

    Aww yeah.
  9. Robbert

    Robbert New Member

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    Vlaneyurawesome

    nufsad
  10. DeadStretch

    DeadStretch Post Master General

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    I can't read most of this thread. :|
    :lol:
  11. Myst

    Myst New Member

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    Jim where Bill had had had had had had had had had was right
  12. StriderHoang

    StriderHoang New Member

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    Obviously I graduated from college with the wrong degree.
  13. x Zatchmo

    x Zatchmo New Member

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    The only thing you ever read.
  14. Mrsubguy

    Mrsubguy New Member

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    Tanks for se gu1de i love t4lking 1337speek n0w i can g0 4nd sh0w0ff t0 all 0f my fRiends!
  15. nyx

    nyx Moderator Alumni

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    I sincerely hope that we don't devolve to that level completely, and if so, it happens after my death.
  16. Col_Jessep

    Col_Jessep Moderator Alumni

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    Nyx, long time, no see! How are you?
  17. nyx

    nyx Moderator Alumni

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    Hey Jessep! Life is good. How the heck are you? Haven't seen you on IM in a while....
  18. AARPS

    AARPS New Member

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    I agree, I hope I'm gone when this is the norm. The only exception: I think all DVRs should have only newspeak for the UI so the 'old people need help programming the VCR' joke can live on forever.
  19. Col_Jessep

    Col_Jessep Moderator Alumni

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    Same old, same old. The IM thing is true, that needs to change! :D
  20. JON10395

    JON10395 New Member

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    I agree...
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