It'll make more money in a week than the entire forum combined in six months. Joke's on you! And... me.... Crap.
Jokes on everyone contributing to that money-wank. I at least earn my money, with like work and stuff. EA basically pays the few devs it took a bit, all the sources they had to use for references, and pockets huge profit for otherwise little work. Yes, I know that's activision. They are the second worse at this, at least they don't kill their studios as well. They are usually good about sticking with their IPs and Devs.
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
It looks like somewhere, some time, the guys that wrote the grammar and the guys that decided the pronunciation had a disagreement. Or better put: a group decided the grammar and the English collectively decided "**** you". many "q" sounds come from french but the english decided to write it french but ignore it otherwise.
What sound do the emergency services make when responding to reports of Nintendo executives being buried under piles of money? WiiU-WiiU-WiiU-WiiU-WiiU-WiiU!
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?""Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room, returning with a large Russian Blue. The feline jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. It too sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20..." "...but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
How do trees access the internet? Spoiler They log in. How do you count cows? Spoiler With a cowculator Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Spoiler Totally! The Empire State Building can't jump.
A woman could not find her car keys. After shuffling around in her purse, she realized she had to have left them in the ignition. "At least you will always find them there", she would always say to her husband. "One day, someone is going to steal your car", he would reply. She went back down to the parking lot, only to realize it had finally happened. The car was missing from the parking space, nowhere to be found. Someone had finally stolen it. She had called the cops immediately. Then thought about how she would break the news to her husband. She practiced what she would say for at least 20 minutes, before finally making the call... "Honey. I went down to the parking lot and couldn't find the car. I think I left they keys in the ignition again. I guess it finally happened, someone stole it. I am so sorry..." she said to him when he answered. There was a long pause before he answered. Finally, he said... "You ******* idiot, I dropped you off so I could run those errands remember!", he replied. She was suddenly so relieved! "Oh thank goodness. When will you be home?" He replied, "Well, probably a couple of minutes after you speak to this officer, because he has just pulled me over and charged me with carjacking!"
A woman who is 4 months pregnant with twins, falls into a coma for 8 months. When she wakes up, she discovers she had already given birth to a boy and girl. Woman: What are their names? Doctor: Well, your brother picked them. Woman: Oh no, he is a nut and is awful with names... What did he name my daughter? Doctor: He named her "Denise". Woman: Oh... well that isn't actually so bad. What about my son then? Doctor: That one... ...he named... ..."Denephew"...
Not a joke but still funny: http://www.warnerbros.com/archive/spacejam/movie/jam.htm Untouched since 1996. IT'S SO CUUUTE!
