Jokes

A lot of these jokes are puns though

Not quite a joke, but I think it is kind of fitting.

Graham Chapman is the best person ever.

Actually Graham Chapman was a free loading bastard, good riddance

Why didn't the two skeletons fight?

Because they have no guts

What goes up and down, but does not move??


Stairs

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

But there is no other desks next to yours?

That is somewhat creepy.

Hey! I made it to a real seat!
I used sit alone in the supply room, so it's actually pretty accurate

I guess you don't watch Uber's livestreams? Typically before the show starts they walk around the office with a go pro cam on head and stuffs.

Also so I am not off topic:
After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire. "But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

what is a black point going to a green point in Space?
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We all know.

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me that's a salt.

What do you get when you throw a white rock into the Red Sea?

a wet rock

How many sides does a glass of lemonade have?

2 - the inside and the outside

Q. Why was the light switch mad?
A. Someone flipped him off.

Why is the clock in the kitchen always slow?

It keeps going back 4 seconds!

Q: What is the definition of a shock absorber?
A: A careless electrician!

I saw this one online, have to post.

So a physics professor is telling a joke.

There are 4 cigarette between 3 guys in a boat with no lighter or matches to be found anywhere on the boat. How do they light the cigarette?

One guy throws a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes one cigarette lighter.