Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Get out! We don't server noble gasses here!" Argon doesn't react.
Two pieces of tarmac are chatting in a bar. One piece of tarmac, after a few drinks, says to the other "I am the strongest, toughest piece of tarmac in this bar. I could take on anyone here and fight them and win." Behind them, the bar door slams open, and a piece of red tarmac walks calmly into the bar. The tough piece of tarmac bolts for the toilets immediately. The piece of tarmac he had been talking to at the bar follows him in and asks "Why are you afraid of him? You said you could take on anyone in the bar!" The tough piece of tarmac says "Are you kidding? That guy's a cyclepath!"
What did the light bulb say to the generator? I really get a charge out of you! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atom http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ion
How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1, you chauvinistic *******, seriously what the hell did you assume?
If you listen to the latest podcast you'll know Scathis is in crunch time for Toy Rush. He aint gots no time.
I phoned the local gym and asked them if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays." HAHAHAHA EDIT: I'll be honest I had to look jokes up on the internet....
What is large, grey and not important? An Irrelephant Merkel, Hollande and Cameron go rafting near the Niagara Falls. They can't agree on a direction and their raft drifts down the waterfall. Who will be saved? Europe
^Best joke so far doe A republican senator and a democratic senator are on an old, open plane together. "If I drop one 500 dollar bill," the republican says, "I might make one person very happy." The democrat replies: "If I drop five 100 dollar bills, I might make five people less miserable." "And I know for a fact everybody would be happy if I throw down the both of you," the pilot says.