What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and glue? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna. "But what the hell does the glue have to do with that?!" I knew you'd get stuck on that!
(This one is more of a auditory joke but still works. It's a year old, hope nobody posted it.) What did Putin say to Obama? "Crimea River"
(this is more or less my own joke i made myself if not made already i just came up with and i am very bad with wittiness) What do you call a person who became a mime A "Mutation"
Want a joke? Money hasn't caused any corruption within the US government! (sorry just did a civics class, where the teacher believes the giving of political favours to large companies is "ok" )
Haha, yeah. Trying to prevent that from going down, go wolfpac! (Look it up, trying to petition the government through the states, three states have signed so far, 37/50 are needed or something. The role is to eliminate money from elections/government/etc...)
Here's a joke: The morning news program I tolerate just showed off a youtube video of a guy who made a Millennium Falcon drone. Of course they had to show footage from the Force Awakens trailer in case you forgot what the Millennium Falcon was. Too bad they used the "George Lucas Special Edition".
Oh god, you're trying to get banned xD. Edit: I just read these out loud to 4 of my friends and we were crying with laughter. I'm such a horrible person. It's in the extra functions menu.
So my friend says "What do you want for your birthday?", and I say "I dunno, you don't have to get me anything. If you really want to just $20 cash or whatever". So he shows up at my party, gives me a suspiciously heavy envelope, and inside the envelope...
I got a present like this once, but I had to search for the coins in a large bucket of jelly. It took ages and started to smell terrible after a while